The Woman In Black (2012)

Here’s betting an amoeba might have mustered up a larger array of facial expressions than Daniel Radcliffe did in The Woman In Black (2012). That in itself would have surely made a more interesting horror picture, or at least one of more originality. If you have ever seen The Ring (2002) then you have already seen The Woman In Black. If you have ever seen ANY horror film then you have seen The Woman In Black. Yes folks, this film is a creaky cupboard of clichés that no doubt will serve as a pitiful doorway into the horror genre for all those Harry Potter fans once told they could stay up late on a school night. Supposedly, this is a film aimed at non-horror fans and supposedly, those who rather enjoy ill-suited camera shots poorly attempting to show off; much like a tired dog running with a splintered stick coated in saliva would (don’t even get me started on the tinted lens, I mentioned The Ring, right?) What this of course does is destroy any tension that might have… Talking of scares (there aren’t any), after so many false ones I was laughing and when I noticed that many in the audience were not I made a furious attempt to keep even harder-laughter from escaping, so as not be ambushed by any unimaginative Harry Potter Fans on my way out. I won’t even bother to document the myriad of plot holes and things that just didn’t make sense; how long is the piece of rope with which this film hangs itself? Conclusion: poorly dressed hack.

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