Feast (2005): Mayonnaise with that?

feast poster junkieintheattic

No, this has none of the implied interspecies romance of Alien vs. Predator, it’s far worse than that.

“They’re Hungry. You’re Dinner.”

Dir. John Gulager

Feast begins moderately with textual character introductions on freeze-screens, complete with life-expectancies. This post-modern signifier wants us to believe the film is smart. It’s not. After introduction number-ten, the feeling that a lot of people are going to die fills us with dull surprise. And die they do, each death as unmemorable as the last. Feast also quickly reveals itself as a ruse for marriage; the unholy one of Aliens (1986 – guns and a similar monster) and Tremors (1990 – hicks held up in a public space). This film falls wildly short, even of the later, managing only to make the hicks hickier and the monsters ickier. Yes, ickier, not scarier; the oral rape scene, obviously played for comedy, can only be described as the poorest of bad taste. Nothing wrong with horror meta-fiction or even bad taste, but Feast presents only cliché or obvious subverts of it; continually killing the main protagonist, for example. The film might have been passable despite all these shortcomings, but none of the characters are likeable whatsoever; there’s casual homophobia, misogyny, desertion and murder. With this and the film resembling a dull wink-wink of conveyor-belt deaths, it mightn’t be so bad if these characters do all die as penitence. Feast your eyes on something else, please.



  1. You actually got around to reviewing it eh? I knew what to expect as soon as I clicked it, and a giggle came out of me with this line..

    “This post-modern signifier wants us to believe the film is smart. It’s not.”

    ….Well written review!

  2. Thanks- this really is the most horrible thing I’ve seen in ages; notwithstanding Hideaway (1995), which I saw tonight.

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