“They’re Hungry. You’re Dinner.”
Dir. John Gulager
Feast begins moderately with textual character introductions on freeze-screens, complete with life-expectancies. This post-modern signifier wants us to believe the film is smart. It’s not. After introduction number-ten, the feeling that a lot of people are going to die fills us with dull surprise. And die they do, each death as unmemorable as the last. Feast also quickly reveals itself as a ruse for marriage; the unholy one of Aliens (1986 – guns and a similar monster) and Tremors (1990 – hicks held up in a public space). This film falls wildly short, even of the later, managing only to make the hicks hickier and the monsters ickier. Yes, ickier, not scarier; the oral rape scene, obviously played for comedy, can only be described as the poorest of bad taste. Nothing wrong with horror meta-fiction or even bad taste, but Feast presents only cliché or obvious subverts of it; continually killing the main protagonist, for example. The film might have been passable despite all these shortcomings, but none of the characters are likeable whatsoever; there’s casual homophobia, misogyny, desertion and murder. With this and the film resembling a dull wink-wink of conveyor-belt deaths, it mightn’t be so bad if these characters do all die as penitence. Feast your eyes on something else, please.